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| Colleges in Vermont are SO collegial. |
The point is that have been sitting at this metaphorical crossroad since I graduated. One direction leads to grad school. The other direction leads to under employment where I simply continue to toil out a meager existence by utilizing the skills I had before I even went to college in the first place. Both directions are wrought with peril. Obviously the under employment route sounds dismal and potentially suicide inducing, but at least I don’t drag my family further into debt. Grad school seems like a more positive choice but there is a distinct possibility that I would invest a shit ton of money and resources but not be able to find adequate work when I am done.
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| Not so subtle metaphor. |
Ah, stupid life decisions…and stupid cold indifferent universe.
I can't say I've been where you are from the family perspective, but I have walked away from 2 careers without knowing where I was going. It was terrifying.
ReplyDeleteFor me, any choice that gives me pro-active options is better than a choice that has me waiting on other people. That inertia is deadly. But it's also really hard to make a move when the stakes are high.
I don't think I'm being very helpful. I just wanted to say that I empathize. I think that any choice that widens your options is probably a good one.
In spite of swearing up and down for 14 years that I would never go back to school, I am being forced to do so. And I won't make one cent more when I graduate. However, I will be allowed to keep my job that I really don't like. But it is too late to start all over now. Even I don't have a family to support, I do understand the part about being broke and in debt. It seems like I just paid off my student loans from the first time around! Decisions, decisions...
ReplyDeleteHere's one more thing - maybe marginally helpful.
ReplyDeleteWe. Are. Young. I know you don't feel like it, but I see people at all stages of life all the time in my career, and trust me, we are young. People in their thirties only feel old because, for the first time, the novelty of being an adult has entirely worn away. But you're quite young, and you can still do anything. Truly. If you decide you want to become a physician, you can still do that. I don't recommend it, but you could. You'd be completely finished in your mid-forties and still young (in fact, just the age that docs start to get any kind of respect). Most other careers don't take even that long.
You can still do anything. Unfortunately, almost anything you do is probably going to make you feel worse before it makes you feel better. That, I think, is why so many people linger at the crossroads. There's no way out but through. At least, that's how it's often been for me.
Your work on Brunelleschi was C work at best.
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ReplyDeleteI think you should head for grad school. Do some research. A lot of grad schools have scholarship programs. I went to grad school and paid nothing. They paid me. Granted...it was a measly 500 bucks a month and if my parents weren't angels in disguise and given me cash now and again, I would have had to take out a loan or two to live, BUT I didn't have to pay tuition. What kind of grad school are you thinking of going to? What is the end career you want to have? See which of the colleges have graduates that get a lot of jobs. You may also consider doing volunteer work at a job you want to have while you are in school so you'll have your foot in the door when you are done.
ReplyDeleteOther than my thoughts on the subject, how are you doing?